Thy Kingdom Gone
by Adair In Wonderland
Summary: All it took to deconstruct Light's unwavering, unrelenting vision for the future was a little thing called love. Light/L
1. The Souls Impure And Sane

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note.

**Warning:** This is rated M for reasons that will become clear as the story progresses. If you read the summary, then you realize that there is going to be some boy on boy action. Not now, but eventually. You have been warned.

**A/N:** So you know, though you'll probably be able to figure this out once you read it, this story begins when L and Light are chained together, and Light doesn't have his memories and all that.

Also, this is sort of a songfic, but sort of not. The title is taken from an amazing song of the same name by an amazing band called Flowing Tears, which basically inspired me to write this. All the chapter titles are lines from the song. So, I guess I should put another disclaimer in here saying that I don't own the song, which I don't. So, there it is.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Thy Kingdom Gone  
Chapter 1: The Souls Impure And Sane**

There was nothing but darkness and silence.

The sound of his own breathing had faded away into an obscure white noise, its even cadence falling deafly upon his ears. The soft breathing of the man lying next to him had vanished from his hearing as well, the relaxed tempo of his respiration not able to break through the lock that had been placed on his consciousness and reach him. His brown eyes were open, staring blindly at the ceiling. It was at times like this that Light Yagami could never sleep.

And it wasn't for lack of trying. He would close his eyes, attempt to clear his mind, let everything he'd been thinking about just fall away from him, only to have his eyelids snap open when one stray, vague thought would break through his drifting consciousness and scream at him. That one nameless, unpronounceable notion that lurked in the back of his mind would bark at him, haunt him in the deep hours of the night. It irritated him that he couldn't place it, couldn't give it a name. It was only there, ever present, gnawing at him in the moments when other thoughts would drift away, leaving room for everything to center on that one unrecognizable feeling.

Like always, the bed was comfortable. The sheets were soft. His body was as rigid as a board, both hands fisted by his sides. The cuff on his wrist was digging into his skin, the cold metal pressing harshly into the sensitive flesh. It was the only tactile sensation he could perceive in his muddled state of sleepless unawareness.

If only he could pinpoint when this had started, when this seed had been planted. He had an inkling, though, a disturbing, crooked little inkling. One night, he had inexplicably awoken from sleep at some godless hour and turned over, his body trying to find a comfortable position so he could try to fall asleep again. Coming to rest on his side, the chain keeping his movements limited, he saw his companion lying next to him. Usually, L brought a laptop to their bed and would continue to work diligently until Light fell asleep, and, as he suspected, long afterwards as well. In his typical hunched pose, he would clack away at the keys, searching for anything and everything that could help with the investigation. But on this night, the laptop was not there. L's eyes were closed. He was curled up, almost in the fetal position, his thumb hanging at the corner of his mouth like a child. A few inches away from his own, L's face was relaxed, a strange appearance of innocence covering his normally expressionless visage. He was sleeping. It was a sight he'd never seen before, and it struck him right through to his core.

His first thought upon seeing L's sleeping face was how incredibly young he looked, how the darkness surrounding them seemed to wash away those black circles under his eyes, and most of all, how he appeared almost agreeable in repose. His second thought was centered on the current state of defenselessness of the man who continued to pursue him for a horrendous crime he didn't commit. Something inside of him itched to reach out to him and wrap his hands around that pale throat and squeeze until the man known as L was no more. Something inside of him he couldn't quite place was burning with excitement at this opportunity, his hands twitching at his sides as he continued to stare. After a few moments, he came back to himself, almost violently jerking out of the strange daze he'd entered. A wave of nausea hit him and he rolled over, facing away from his bedmate, his mind unable to recover from the strange thoughts that had entered it. He spent the rest of the night in futility, trying desperately to fall asleep and forget what he'd seen.

Since that occurrence, the number of sleepless nights Light Yagami experienced only increased. Whenever L would bring the laptop to bed and continue to work late into the night, he'd be able to sleep, the sound of his companion's fingers on the keyboard almost acting as a lullaby, the constant clacking noise soothing him and giving his mind something to focus on until unconsciousness took hold. But other nights, there was another noise, a faint click which signaled that L had closed his computer. This click was always followed by the rustling of sheets and a soft creaking of the bed frame. And then there was nothing but silence. A silence which ate at him. A silence which caused Light's mind to wander into unknown and dangerous territory.

Every time this happened, he tried to stop himself. He tried so hard. But he always looked. Turning onto his side, he'd open his eyes slowly, his eyelids feeling as heavy as if they were made of iron, and would look at the man beside him. Scrutinizing every inch of L's face, Light knew that he hated him. Of that, he was sure. But there was something else lurking behind that hate that was flickering inside of him, making itself known in the deep hours of the night. It was something unrecognizable and unfathomable. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't wrap his mind around it, couldn't define these thoughts racing through his head. All he could do was continue to let them assault his mind while he stared at L, the pains of insomnia beginning to take hold of his body.

During the day, it was easier. He could keep himself occupied with the seemingly never-ending Kira case. He had to deal with his father and Matsuda and the rest of the task force. And, of course, at least ten times throughout the day Misa would demand his attention, whether it be for a few seconds or a few hours, and he'd do his best to give it to her. Anything to avoid focusing wholly on L. During the day, the pale man became just another person in headquarters who, by chance, happened to be chained to him and who would make random interjections throughout their ongoing investigation. Random interjections that, when dissected, seemed to point to the fact that L still believed that Light was Kira, and that that was nothing but the unequivocal truth.

Every word that passed through those thin lips aggravated him, added to the pent-up aggression that was building inside of him. He'd always respond, though, with his own calculated reply, saying what he needed to say to get the other to leave him alone. But it never lasted. L would always come back with something. Over and over, he'd test him with disguised words, little investigative conversations to try and lure out Kira. He didn't know what the strange man had done to make him feel this way, but he knew it had to be some part of L's plan to bring him to this state of confusion, this state of utter disturbance. And he hated him for it. He absolutely hated him for it.

"Hey, Light, are you not sleeping well or something? You almost look like Ryuuzaki," Matsuda had asked one day, his boyish voice and ridiculously genuine smile only serving to annoy him further.

Turning in his chair to face him, Light replied in a pinched, yet amiable tone, "Thank you for your concern, but I'm sleeping fine." He returned to his computer screen, hands moving swiftly across the keyboard. "And I doubt I look anything like Ryuuzaki," he added over his shoulder, watching Matsuda's expression change before looking forward again.

"Ah ha ha, I guess you're right about that," the young detective laughed sheepishly.

Light rolled his eyes as he continued to work, wondering how Matsuda had been accepted into the police force in the first place. He froze when he heard the wheels of a swivel chair rolling towards him and looked up to see L, his black eyes focused on him as he scooted closer.

"Light-kun is having trouble sleeping?" L asked quietly in his familiar monotone, his thumb moving to his lips when he'd finished speaking.

"It's nothing, Ryuuzaki. I'm fine," Light assured him, gaze quickly returning to his computer. He didn't want to look at him. It was even worse when those depthless black orbs were open and staring, even worse when there was a pair of eyes looking back.

"Ah." L nodded and stared at him blankly for a moment, before pushing himself back to his own work area.

Light let out a quiet, shaky breath once the other had left him, and tried to ease the constriction in his throat that had appeared during their short conversation. He could _feel_ something snapping inside of him, could feel his precious and carefully practiced self-control slipping. Being near L, looking at him, made him feel physically ill. It made him feel queasy. It made him feel not like himself.

Later that night, as the two of them laid in bed, Light heard it - that detestable click echoing through their room. He heard the soft rustling of sheets as L laid down. Then he heard nothing. Just the knowledge that L was curled up next to him, sleeping with his thumb still stuck at his mouth like an infant, kept him up for hours. Just that knowledge sent those strange, undefinable thoughts flying through his head.

As the hours of the night wore on, that urge to look at his companion presented itself, like it always did. It became harder and harder to ignore that urge once he was positive the other was asleep. Laying on his back, he took a deep breath, holding the air in his lungs for a moment before letting it gush out, along with his resolve to keep his eyes off of his bedmate. Slowly and gingerly, he turned onto his side, nestling his face into his pillow and opened his eyes. He stared forward blindly, his eyes not able to pick any shapes out of the darkness just yet. As his sight became accustomed to the absence of light in their room, L's face materialized in front of him, his pale skin standing out against the blackness surrounding them. He was so close. Closer than usual. Light sucked in a breath, startled by this unexpected proximity.

L always fell asleep on his side, facing the center of the bed, and, thereby, facing towards him. Always. It was just a random fact, but he sometimes felt as though his sanity hinged upon it. Or, perhaps, it was the fact that caused his sanity to come unhinged. Either way, it just was, and he never questioned it.

As he continued to stare, going over every detail of L's face, he noticed a strange change in the other man's expression. It was nothing overt, but noticeable to him, nonetheless; a small variance he couldn't clearly describe in the other's countenance. Something was off. _L was... awake._

Almost the moment that thought occurred to him and his body tensed up in surprise and panic, the man lying next to him opened his black eyes, his gaze focusing immediately on the stricken boy. Light froze, his breath catching in his throat. L blinked at him, turning his head slightly against his pillow, his black hair falling messily across his face. For a short while they stared at each other silently, the tension in Light's body growing with every second that passed by. He couldn't look away. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't.

"So..." L's toneless voice broke the silence, "It is true that Light-kun is having trouble sleeping?"

He couldn't respond. His throat had closed up the second those depthless eyes had opened.

"I suppose it makes sense. There are many reasons why you shouldn't be able to sleep."

_No. There was one reason. One reason. _That reason was still incomprehensible to him, but he knew it was there, and solitary, and nothing to do with the suspicion that he was a mass murderer. The fact that he was being investigated by the world's greatest detective under the theory that he was Kira had never once caused him to lose sleep.

L was staring at him expectantly, like he was waiting for an answer, but he couldn't put the words together. He could barely put his thoughts together. L sighed, letting his eyes wander to the ceiling while Light remained silent.

"Well. Since this case has been solved, I'm going to sleep now. Good night, Light-kun."

Light started at those words, finally able to find his voice. "The case has been solved?" he asked incredulously, his eyebrows rising in disbelief. "What are you talking about, Ryuuzaki?"

L lowered his gaze to him again, staring for a moment before speaking. "The case of whether Light Yagami is sleeping or not," he stated in a tone that implied he should've figured that out on his own, bringing his thumb to his mouth and taking his fingernail between his teeth. The pale man spared him one more glance, before closing his eyes, effectively shutting down their conversation. It was only then that Light noticed how hard his heart had been beating, the overactive organ in his chest pumping his blood through him almost violently fast. Turning onto his back, he waited for himself to calm down and listened until the other's breathing became slow and even. He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling so incredibly tired, the effects of his sporadic insomnia finally taking their toll. With his mind still raging, Light Yagami fell asleep. For the first time, the both of them slept side by side, the chain that kept them bound together lying coiled between them.

The next day, Light was a wreck. He'd slept, and soundly, but the memory of his dreams had left him completely unsettled the moment he woke up. The images his mind had shown him during slumber caused him to feel even worse than he had when he wasn't able to sleep. Those haunting thoughts he couldn't place had been given picture and sound in his dreams, everything that he'd been unable to understand had been illustrated perfectly for him. He sat slumped in his chair, his head in his hands while Matsuda made idiotic inquiries as to how he was feeling. His mind was reeling with what he'd seen.

In his dreams, he'd fucked L and then killed him, strangled him with his own two hands. He'd squeezed that pale throat, felt his fingernails digging into his victim's flesh, drawing blood, and watched him die while he was still inside of him.

He sat there, trying to will those images out of his head, but they were burned there, permanently stuck in the forefront of his mind. He couldn't believe the things he'd dreamed, couldn't accept those utterly malicious and, at the same time, lascivious thoughts.

Raising his head out of his hands, he stared at his computer screen listlessly for a few moments, his brown eyes scanning the information in front of him, before setting to work again. He'd just keep himself busy. _After all... it was only a dream... Only a dream._

A few minutes passed by in relative peace, each member of the task force busy with their respective tasks. Catching a glimpse of some unknown motion out of the corner of his eye, Light turned his gaze to the side, only to see L sitting there beside him. The detective was perched on the edge of his chair, one hand on his knee, the other at his mouth where he was lightly chewing on the tip of his thumb. The chain was resting on the floor, its small metal links coiled limply in the short distance between where they were sitting. All Light could see were those wide, black eyes staring directly at him, their hollow depths seeming to convey an unusual intensity and fervor in their constant probing. Under that penetrating yet empty gaze, he could feel something contracting and something swelling within him all at once.

**The Souls Impure And Sane - FIN**

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! I hope some of you guys out there liked it. I'm more of a "one-shot" writer, and the one other multi-chapter fic I've written kind of just exploded out of my control and became a monster. But. When I was listening to this song, the idea just hit me... and it was a big idea, so there was no way it could be a one-shot. Hopefully I can pull this off. The next chapter won't be so boring, I hope...

Anyway. Review? Reviews make me unbelievably happy, whether they're good or bad. Like, really, you have no idea how happy they make me. And, when I'm happy, I tend to write more, if you get what I'm saying. So, let me know what you think, okay? Please and thank you. ^_^


	2. Unhallowed Be Thy Name

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note nor the Flowing Tears' song upon which this is semi-based.

**Warning: **Eventual boy on boy action.

**A/N:** Since I'm not particularly creative when it comes to thinking up plots, I am going to be using certain events that do happen in the actual show, but change them a bit... or have them occur differently during the timeline, etc. Just so you are aware.

Also, I don't really remember whether they had wiretaps at "headquarters" or not... I know there were cameras, but I can't remember about the wiretaps. I wrote this chapter, thinking that there _were_ wiretaps, so if you know that there weren't, then just pretend that there were. Things that happen around the end of this chapter only make sense if there _are_ wiretaps. I mean, there's got to be, right?... I don't remember. O.o

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Thy Kingdom Gone  
Chapter 2: Unhallowed Be Thy Name**

Time passed by slowly at headquarters. It sometimes seemed as though the investigation had come to a standstill, with no new evidence presenting itself. Light would have been bored out of his mind, if it wasn't for L's constant, distracting gaze. Of course, the detective had stared at him before, but never to such a ceaseless degree as he was now. It seemed as though every time he glanced in the other's direction, he was met with a pair of wide black eyes looking directly at him, endlessly searching for something unknown on his perfectly sculpted surface.

"It's impolite to stare, Ryuuzaki," he said quietly when he, once again, found the eyes of the hunched man next to him focused openly upon his form.

"I am not staring, Light-kun," was the almost whispered reply he received, as L tilted his head towards him so that he could hear the hushed words.

Leaning back in his chair and letting a small sigh escape his lips, he asked, "Then what, exactly, are you doing?"

"I am thinking and I am searching, Light-kun. The word 'staring' implies that I am doing nothing but looking at something that I can see with my eyes."

Light frowned. _And what was he trying to say by that?_ "Well, whatever you're searching for, I hope you are able to find it," he said, coating every word with the artificial friendship that the two of them had somehow silently agreed to contrive between them.

L smiled one of his awkward smiles, tilting his head forward. "Thank you, Light-kun. Your support is very important to me."

The boy stiffened slightly in his chair and returned to his computer screen, still looking at L through the corner of his eye. He could tell that the detective was up to something, but what exactly that was, he still had no clue. The fact that he couldn't figure it out frustrated him to no end.

During the night, Light was able to sleep again. It was a fact that he should have been thankful for, but, instead, he cursed it with his entire being. He would rather return to his short-lived insomnia than be subjected to the horrifying dreams he experienced night after night, sleeping next to L in their bed.

Though the subject matter between each individual dream differed slightly, there was always one constant that remained throughout every single one of them. Every night, in his head, he'd have sex with L. Sometimes, this was accompanied by violence, and even death, sometimes it was nothing but the simple act itself. And then there were times when the L in his dreams would look deeply into his eyes and move his mouth as though he was speaking, but no sound would pass through his lips. There would be nothing but silence as the person that resembled himself moved roughly inside of the pale body beneath him.

He sometimes wondered if L knew, if that was the reason for his staring. He wondered if he'd done something to give himself away, if he maybe muttered his thoughts during sleep, or worse. He couldn't ignore the fact that the detective's intense scrutinization of him had begun right after the night his insomnia had been cured and his first dream had plagued him. He couldn't ignore it, but he refused to dwell on it.

And then, the rest all happened so fast. They'd been investigating the Yotsuba Group and finally been able to close in on Higuchi as Kira. He'd been sitting next to L in the helicopter, watching in confusion as various members of the task force passed around a seemingly plain black notebook, only to see their faces instantly twist into expressions of shock and horror, some of them simply freezing, others yelling about some 'monster'. Next to him, L was watching the entire situation calmly, his mouth hanging open just slightly as he contemplated the strange proceedings unfolding before them.

And then the notebook came to the two of them. L held it delicately between his bony fingers and stiffened, a quick intake of breath the only sign that something was wrong. Soon, Light reached for it, and it happened.

It felt like every bone in his body had turned to stone and locked into place, his muscles tightening over them, adding to the feeling of complete and torturous immobility. All the air was forced out of his lungs as his mind entered something akin to a whirlpool. Images and sounds were flying through his head so quickly, he couldn't be sure he was actually perceiving anything, if it wasn't for the lost knowledge that he was regaining. Knowledge of events in his life that were so important, so inherent to him, he couldn't believe it was actually possible he had forgotten them in the first place, whether it was a rule of the Death Note or not.

Because, that was it. That was all. He was Kira. He was the god of the new world.

A smirk instantly broke out onto his face as he saw Rem standing amidst the chaos going on outside, and he angled his body just slightly away from L. Opening the hidden compartment in his watch, he did away with Higuchi, waiting in agitation during those 40 seconds until the ruthless, yet stupid, business man's body fell lifelessly to the ground. Ownership had been returned.

_The true Kira had returned._

Back at headquarters, every member of the task force passed the notebook around, taking turns to examine it, while Rem stood quietly in the background, giving vague answers to any questions they might ask her. Light was standing quietly next to L, as the detective flipped through the pages, eventually coming to the back cover, where he saw the fake rules that Ryuk had written.

Everyone was so happy. He'd been cleared. His father smiled one of the most genuine smiles he'd ever seen him display in his entire life, a few unshed tears shining in his eyes as relief washed through him. He almost wanted to laugh at their naiveté, but held himself in check, calmly waiting for their excitement to die down. After a few moments and an almost disbelieving glance in his direction, L called Watari and had him bring in the key to unlock the chain that had kept them bound together for so long.

"Here you are, Ryuuzaki," Watari said upon arriving, handing a small silver key to L with a gloved hand.

"Thank you, Watari." L took it and made his way over to Light, grabbing his shackled wrist and holding it up, placing the key into its hole. With a small turn, the cuff popped open, and he was free. Light held his hand in front of his face, his fingers curling slightly as he looked at it, the limb looking almost strange now that there was no longer any cold metal encasing it.

Just barely within the range of his hearing, he heard L make a hushed exclamation, but paid it no mind, his eyes fixated on the red mark encircling his wrist. A mark that had been left by L. Suddenly, cold, pale fingers were pressing against his wrist, circling around his small bruise. He jumped at the light contact, quickly sucking in his breath, looking up to see L's face hovering closely in front of his own.

"It must've hurt. I am sorry, Light-kun."

He could feel L's thumb brushing against the sensitive flesh of his wrist, could feel his fingernail lightly grazing across his trivial wound.

"Maybe we can find some ointment for that..." the detective murmured, casting his gaze to the side, his hand falling away.

Light stood rigidly, rooted to the spot. He couldn't help but notice that L had yet to unlock his own cuff. Every second that passed by with L not removing his shackle while the one that had been, just moments ago, secured to him was held loosely in one of those pale hands, ate away at something inside of him. Then, all too soon, he heard a soft scraping of metal against metal and closed his eyes, willing himself not to see it.

Later that night, he stood in the darkness of his new room, staring vacantly out one of the windows, the city lights illuminating his still form. It was his own room. Just his. For the first time in quite a while, he was alone. He'd decided to stay at headquarters and work on the investigation, much to the surprise of the other members of the task force. When he had announced his decision, L had just stared at him in disinterest and nodded his consent. It was a logical thing to do in many regards. If he wasn't Kira, there were a million reasons anyone could think of for him to stay with the investigation, and, since he actually was Kira, there were about a million more. And, even still, there was another reason. A reason that made him feel sick to his stomach when he thought about it.

Flexing his hand, he extended each long, slender finger out and back, before curling them into a loose fist. He brought his hand up to his face and, before he even realized what he was doing, he was brushing his lips against his wrist, his hooded eyes blind to everything that was happening outside the window in front of him. His breath tickled against the tiny, and already fading, bruise, the only reminder of the link that had once physically bound him to his greatest enemy.

L was not there. He couldn't see him. He couldn't hear him. He couldn't feel him, smell him or taste him. And there was something entirely wrong about all of that. L's absence was something entirely wrong.

In a sudden outburst, he slammed his hand against the window, his palm pressing stiffly onto the cold glass, the noise the action created cutting harshly through the room. The small red mark was peeking above the edge of his white sleeve, somehow seeming to glare in the darkness around him.

"L..." he whispered hotly into the surrounding silence, for whatever reason, feeling the need to say his name, to let it past his lips and into the air. There was this hideous, unwarranted aggression building inside of him that had nowhere to escape to, that had nothing to do but fester within him.

When he finally decided to go to bed, he slept soundly and dreamt of L's normally impassive face contorting in pleasure, his expressionless voice moaning loudly, his white skin flushing pink, his hunched body arching underneath him. All this happening while he, a sadistic smile twisting his face, emptied himself into the tight confines of the enigmatic man's lithe body.

He awoke the next day and rolled onto his side, still disgusted by his dreams, but no longer surprised by them. Listening to the sound of his own breathing for a moment, simply enjoying the warmth and feeling of lying in bed, he opened his eyes groggily, expecting, anticipating, to see L lying beside him, but there was no one there. He was alone. Trying his best to ignore the sickening feeling of disappointment that washed through him, he got out of bed and went to take a shower; which was so much easier now that he didn't have to do so while maneuvering a chain with L on the other end, who, sitting awkwardly on the toilet, would make needless conversation while waiting for him to finish.

Once he was done, he descended the stairs to the room where the majority of their work took place. L was in his usual position, hunched in front of his computer, with the other members of the task force standing nearby. As he approached them, exchanging routine morning greetings, L gave him what could only be described as a taunting look. Not letting his agitation show on his face, he stood with them as they were apparently waiting for something.

L took a long sip of tea, setting the cup delicately onto its plate and then placed it on the table. "Well, now that Light-kun is here, we may discuss this." He picked up the Death Note, pinching the back cover between his thumb and index finger, angling his hand so that it fell open to reveal the fake rules. He then began to explain his plan to test the 13 day rule using criminals on death row. Watari came on the speaker to announce that all the necessary preparations had been made, and only a few final details were left to take care of.

Out of the corner of his eye, Light saw Rem standing rigidly in the background, listening intently to everything that was being said. Even though her expression never changed, he could almost feel the panic and anger that was beginning to steal over her. Her red eyes were gleaming. He could feel his facial muscles twitching, the corners of his mouth gently being pulled upward into a victorious grin, but, like he always did, he stifled it.

_L would be dead. Soon, so unbelievably soon, L would be gone. Rem was going to kill him._

As quickly as his elation came, it vanished. A multitude of emotions swarmed inside of him as the reality of what would inevitably happen hit him square in the face. _L would be dead... He would be gone... forever._ He took a deep breath, suddenly feeling light-headed, the intensity of his unpredicted reaction knocking him off balance. As the members of the task force discussed L's idea, he let his gaze fall upon the man that was always causing him trouble, looking at him through slightly narrowed eyes. His mind was screaming in rebellion at what he was about to do, but he ignored it.

"Excuse me, but, I have to make a trip to the bathroom. I'll be back in a second," he told the others, his body moving on its own. They all nodded at him and quickly returned to their conversation.

He made his way to the staircase, making a small, barely noticeable beckoning motion with his hand in Rem's direction. She turned her head slightly, pausing for a moment, then disappeared through the wall.

Light slowly and casually walked to his room. He knew that what he was about to do was risky, but he couldn't stop himself. Everyone downstairs was absorbed in their conversation, having no reason to look at the screens. The only person he really had to worry about was Watari, and, if the worst came to pass, he could always convince Rem to kill him.

Upon arriving at his room, he quickly found a notepad and hastily scrawled a message on it, using all of his acting abilities to make the action seem like nothing but a sudden afterthought. Folding the note, he tucked it in his pocket, making sure that it was just barely inside, hanging precariously at the edge of his pocket. He went to the bathroom then, unzipping his fly as Rem materialized from behind a wall, her red eyes gazing at him absently while he took care of business. He made a small noise of surprise upon her arrival, muttering "Damn shinigami," under his breath. Next, he made his way to the sink, one of his hands brushing casually against his pants, causing the note he'd placed there to fall to the ground. Taking a dab of soap from the dispenser, he turned on the faucet, put his hands underneath the stream of water, and waited. After a moment, Rem crouched down and retrieved the note, opening the paper awkwardly with her large claws. Once his hands were clean, he toweled them dry and turned towards Rem, a look of surprise passing over his face.

"Oh, did I drop that?" he asked, noting the look of skepticism on her face. "Thank you for picking it up for me, I guess shinigami aren't all bad, are they?" He smiled and took the note from her, stuffing it in his pocket. He'd dispose of it later. He wouldn't put it past L to have someone, probably Watari, search through his trash bins. He'd probably have to flush it.

Looking at Rem pointedly, he waited for some kind of response to his plea.

_Do not kill L. I have a plan which directly involves him. If it comes to fruition, this plan will greatly benefit not only myself, but Misa as well. I don't have time to write it all out right now. I remember that you told me if she dies, I die, and I have kept that in mind. I will keep her safe. I will make L change his mind regarding his current idea. Whatever you do, do not kill him._

After a moment more of thought, she nodded once, uttered a croaking, "You're welcome," and disappeared through the wall.

Smirking, he turned and walked back to join the others. His logic was simple. Despite the fact that he hated L, he couldn't deny that his existence had greatly impacted the world for the greater good. If L and Kira were to join forces, they'd be unstoppable. Once he created his new world, with L by his side, they'd be able to root out any remaining dissent or decay and keep his reign supreme over the chosen population. He'd change L's mind. He'd bring him over to the side of true justice. At least, that was the lie he told himself as he walked down the stairs and saw L's dark eyes instantly lock with his from across the room.

**Unhallowed Be Thy Name - FIN**

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! I'm not really happy with the way this chapter turned out, but I think it's okay... Right? You'll tell me what you think, huh? *wink wink nudge nudge*

Anyway, I know there hasn't been a lot of dialogue in this story so far, which kind of annoys me... I didn't necessarily mean for it to come out that way, but that will change with the next chapter. Mmhmm. Yeah. Some interesting conversations comin' up...

Anyway... Review? Wait, I mean... Review! Please and thank you. ^_^


	3. Pale Disorder

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note nor the Flowing Tears' song upon which this is semi-based and from which I stole the title and all the chapter titles.

**Warning: **This will become yaoi at some point...

**A/N:** Um... I don't think I really have anything to say this time... Except... Thanks for all the reviews!! They make me very happy. ^_^

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Thy Kingdom Gone  
Chapter 3: Pale Disorder**

It hadn't been hard to convince L out of his plan. Once Light rejoined the conversation downstairs, he quickly learned that a few of the detectives were having doubts as to the moral integrity of such a scheme. He latched onto that doubt, and all it took was some blinding eloquence on his part to persuade anyone with any remaining uncertainty as to whether this should be done or not that this was, absolutely, a depraved thing to do. Playing with human life, even though they might not be innocent human lives, was sick and shouldn't be a part of the investigation. After all, if they went through with this test, whether inadvertently or not, they'd be responsible for the death of fellow human beings, and that would make them all just like Kira. Crossing his arms, summoning up the spirit of the perfect, ethical young man he was thought to be, he made a firm resolution to leave the task force and the entire investigation if they had to become killers in order to go on.

L blinked at him, the hand holding his tea cup getting sidetracked on its way to his mouth. "Is that so, Light-kun?" he asked and put down his cup, the china clattering loudly against the table. "What an interesting point you make. However, testing the validity of this rule is very important."

Poorly disguised glares were being exchanged between the two of them, before Matsuda stepped in between them, perhaps to ward off any oncoming violence or to make sure that all attention was focused on him. "Um, I agree with Light-kun," he interjected embarrassedly. "Doing something like this... He's right. It's something Kira would do. And I don't see why we need to test that rule anyway. We already know that the heart attack rule is true, so, isn't that enough? There's no reason for any of us to believe that that rule isn't real. I think, you're just upset because this is the one rule that clears Light, and you don't _want_ it to be true." His face flushed from his speech, Matsuda stepped back and crossed his arms, looking at the floor. "That's what I think, anyway."

L took in all that had been said, one hand slowly raising to his head, where he extended one finger and absently scratched the side of his face. "Yes. You're right. I am upset."

"Ha!" Matsuda yelled in victory, pointing at the seated man. "So you admit it!"

L nodded and then turned his gaze back to Light. "Yes, I have never been wrong before, and it is only this rule I cannot know the truth of which seems to proves it."

"Well, you should get used to the idea that Light isn't Kira. That's what we've all been trying to tell you all this time," Matsuda continued, apparently unable to understand that his point had been made, excitedly waving his hands to accentuate his words.

Watching the scene with detached amusement, Light heard his father clear his throat from the back of their small gathering. "Ah, Ryuuzaki?" Souichirou Yagami asked before stepping forward. "Perhaps we can find another rule to test, or another way to test that doesn't involve the sacrifice of human life. After all, we are all in this investigation together, so we must find something we can all agree upon."

"Yes, of course," L pouted, his face falling as he realized he was outnumbered. As he swiveled around in his chair to tell Watari to cancel the plans, he muttered softly, so no one else could hear, "Convinced them all, haven't you, Light-kun?"

Light stood silently behind him and watched him talk with Watari, watched him undo the genius idea that could've ultimately led to his arrest, watched everything go perfectly according to plan. As the other members of the task force returned to work, he felt a smirk crawl onto his face and approached his nemesis, one hand coming to rest on the back of his chair, the other flat on the table next to his keyboard. Leaning in, he whispered into his ear, "Well, of course. It's only what's right, L."

Neither of them could really tell for certain whether the words they exchanged were about what had just happened or if they were some kind of disguised accusation and confession. They couldn't be certain, but they each knew what the other meant.

When L slowly turned to face him, Light could feel his breath ghost warmly across his skin, could smell the herbal scent of the saccharine tea he'd been drinking. Wild, black hair brushed against his cheek when he dipped his head lower, the faint tickle he felt causing his body to tense and then recoil. He tore himself away and quickly went to sit in his own chair, staring heatedly at his computer screen while he waited for his heart to calm itself. _Right then, he had almost... Almost... _His hands balled into fists as he sat there, forcing himself to take measured breaths. When he dared to look back at L, he saw the pale man staring at him through wide eyes, his thumb pressing against his bottom lip.

"What is it, Light-kun?"

"... What?"

"Something is troubling you?"

"No, Ryuuzaki, nothing."

He saw disbelief mirrored in those black eyes, and turned away, pretending to work, his nerves becoming more and more frazzled with every second that went by with that hollow gaze never leaving his form.

As hours passed by, and it eventually became late, the various members of the task force started to disperse, either going home or heading off to their live-in rooms to sleep. Light stayed where he was, searching for pointless leads on his computer, deciding that staying up would be preferable to subjecting himself to his sickening dreams. Soon enough, only he and L remained in the gray room. Looking over from the corner of his eye, he watched L as his bony fingers flew over his keyboard, the clacking sounds merging together in their frequency so they almost sounded like one constant hum. _He must have found something interesting._ In an instant, the clacking came to a complete standstill, and the detective leaned over even further in his chair, his eyes zipping back and forth in their sockets as he read whatever was on the screen. Light watched him suspiciously through narrowed eyes, curious to know what he'd found.

"Ne, Light-kun, am I that good looking?"

Light jumped, his hands clamping around his chair's armrests. "What... did you just say?"

L swiveled his chair, so he was facing him completely, his countenance as impassive as always. "You've been staring at me for quite a while, so I wonder if it's because I'm very good looking?"

Light's eyes went wide as his breath got stuck in his throat. _He... He knew?_ "Do I look like some kind of faggot to you?" he spat, his carefully constructed mask falling off for just a moment as his building agitation towards the other finally showed itself.

L blinked owlishly, his head lolling to the side as he appeared to ponder that. "There is no need for such language, Light-kun..." he said slowly, his voice trailing off as his black eyes wandered to the ceiling.

"Well, what do you expect, asking me something like that?" Light countered, his heart hammering against his ribcage. L didn't answer him, though, and only continued to stare listlessly upward, his mouth falling open, apparently so lost he'd even forgotten to chew on his thumb. "... L?" Light ventured after a moment, rolling his chair forward slightly as the detective continued to zone out.

The addressed man lowered his head, returning his gaze to the boy in front of him. "Hn?... Oh. Yes. Well, the answer to that is, 'I'm not sure'."

"The answer to what?..."

"Light-kun asked if he looked like a faggot."

Light stared at him incredulously, his back straightening, his chestnut eyes widening fractionally. Hearing L say that word shocked him for some reason and made him feel strange, made him feel uneasy.

"However, knowing such a thing just by _looking_, it's almost impossible. If I were to make assumptions based on stereotypical speech patterns, lifestyle choices and witnessed behaviors, then I would say 'no'. You seem to be very hygienic, though, Light-kun, and you dress well, which are both common stereotypes associated with homosexuality, however, there are also the aforementioned attributes to take into account, which seem to contradict one another." L drawled on in his incessant monotone, his hands twirling lazily as he spoke, apparently voicing every thought the moment it came to him.

"Though, I know, as a detective, that judging a person based solely on stereotypes can often be foolish. Serial killers, for instance, they often were abused as children, yet that doesn't seem to fit in this case, does it? It is also very common that they are products of a dysfunctional household, often without a present father figure, yet that, also, does not apply. We already know that you've had no trouble in school... And I suppose it would be impolite to ask if you've ever attempted suicide." Pausing for a moment, L tugged on his bottom lip with his index finger, then tapped his chin. "Say, Light-kun, did you perhaps continue to wet the bed past early adolescence?"

Light gaped at him. He could barely formulate words, let alone thoughts, as his mind tried to catch up with what the suddenly talkative detective was going on about.

L stared at him expectantly for a moment before speaking again. "I suppose that might be too personal? And, I'm sure, if you had a history of killing or torturing small animals, I'd already know about that..."

"L," Light said pointedly, his exasperation finally catching up with him, one hand pressing against his temple as though to ward off an oncoming headache. "What the hell are you talking about?"

L blinked at him, his mouth falling open. "Well... stereotypes, that's what I'm talking about. I was also trying to make a point, I suppose. Which is, even though you've been cleared and you don't fit the common profile of a serial killer at all, I still believe that Light-kun is Kira. Though, perhaps, since Kira's killing methods are completely _uncommon_, maybe none of that applies in the first place."

Light glared at him through narrowed eyes. He knew that L had a one track mind, but he couldn't help but be amazed at how he had taken their bizarre conversation and twisted it around in such a way so he could, once again, assert his assuredness of his guilt.

"Is that really what we were talking about?" he asked in a bored tone, not wishing to discuss his alleged position as Kira with the strange man.

"You're right, Light-kun. I suppose I went off on a tangent there... Returning to the original topic, I don't know whether you look like that kind of person or not. Who would know such a thing?"

Light didn't respond. He sat in his chair silently, trying to gauge L's expression, trying to understand what he was thinking. Either way, it was clear, he should've just kept his mouth shut to begin with.

"However... I am not an expert on human sexuality, so perhaps I am not the best person to ask."

Light smiled at this, a short sigh escaping his curled lips as he looked at L, his eyes appearing almost feline as he narrowed them. Before he could stop himself, he rolled his chair across the short distance between them and grabbed the armrests of L's chair, dragging it closer until the detective's toes hit his knees. "Oh? Really?" he jeered, his smirk widening as he spoke, "I thought the great L knew everything about everything."

L cocked his head to the side and pursed his lips, both hands hugging his knees as he looked at Light quizically. "Well, I have no experience in this particular area, so..." His voice trailed off uncharacteristically, his gaze falling away.

Light could barely contain himself. "No experience? And what do you mean by that?"

"It means exactly what you think it means, Light-kun."

"Oh? What? You're a... _virgin_?"

L's only reply was a glare directed at the wall. Light smiled and let go of his chair, leaning back into his own as he quietly chuckled at the other's expense. Knowing this only gave him another reason to feel superior to L. Bringing one hand up to his mouth, he let his fingers brush against his lips in a feeble attempt to stifle his laughter, all while staring at L's impassive face. "You... How is that possible? I mean, how old _are_ you?"

Finally, L looked at him again, his slightly furrowed eyebrows the only evidence that he might be upset. "I have spent the majority of my life in isolation, Light-kun, with the only person I had any sort of contact with being Watari. There's never been much of a chance to do such a thing... Not that it really matters anyway..." One of his bony hands was running nervously through his messy hair as he spoke, his words hushed.

"'Not that it matters'?" Light questioned disbelievingly. "How can you say that? You're a man, aren't you?" He kept pushing L, waiting for him to react, able to tell by his subtle change in expression that this conversation was upsetting him.

"Yes, I am a man, Light-kun. That's quite obvious, isn't it? However, I've always had more important things to do with my time. And I've never felt the need... to do such a thing..."

Light scoffed and stood, looking down at the tangle of hunched limbs below him. "_Never felt the need_? Are you serious? I guess the better question to ask would've been _are you human_?" He continued to stand over him, leaning forward just slightly, waiting for an answer.

L shifted in his chair, rubbing his toes together, his eyes roaming around the room before settling warily on Light. When he spoke, his voice was barely more than a whisper. "Are you perhaps trying to provoke me, Light-kun?"

Light opened his mouth, then paused and straightened up, crossing his arms. He had a feeling that it might be unwise to continue this conversation with the somewhat strained atmosphere that had appeared between them. "I was only curious, L..." he said quietly, collapsing onto his chair, his gaze falling to the side, his body slumping defeatedly. Without looking, he could tell L was still staring at him and had to suppress a smile.

"I somehow find that hard to believe, Light-kun."

"Well, it's strange, L," he said, finding the dark eyes of his companion, choosing his words carefully, feeling the need to press him further. "I just... I've never met anyone like you..."

"Hmm. I see."

"I mean... you've at least kissed someone, right?"

"... I believe you were there when Misa kissed me on the cheek."

Light's eyes widened as a crooked smile nearly stretched his face in two. "What? Is that it?"

"Yes, Light-kun, that's it."

Light sunk down in his chair, letting his head rest against the back as he stared up at the ceiling, his body limp. Despite the wonderful feeling of supremacy he got from it, he had no idea why this conversation was making him feel so satisfied, and, at the same time, even almost giddy. He breathed in deeply, his mind going over everything he'd just learned about the man he considered to be his greatest enemy._ L was completely and utterly untouched..._

Letting his head fall to the side, he gazed at the detective who had, during his short silence, decided to return to work and was busy clacking away at his computer. He knew that he shouldn't say it, but he just couldn't let it rest. "Hey, L, maybe the reason you've never been interested in sex is because you're gay. Have you ever considered that?"

L's hands froze on his keyboard and he slowly turned to look at him. "No. I've never thought about that," he said quickly, his eyes returning to the screen in front of him, his hands resuming their typing.

Light bristled in his chair, his hands, for the second time that day, balling into fists. L's speedy, dismissive reply had not satisfied him. Not one bit. In his dreams, L was most definitely gay. In his dreams, the pale detective loved the feeling of being penetrated by another man. In his dreams, L hungrily lapped up everything he gave him.

"I've always had more important things to think about," L added on a moment later, the utterance a vague afterthought to his original reply as his mind was still focused on his work.

Light wasn't done, however. "So how can you know then? If you haven't given it any thought?"

L let out a puff of air, swiveling his chair back around to face him. "You are making it very difficult to work, Light-kun."

"Maybe you should take a break then."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"... Yes. I would."

L blinked at him in surprise before letting his gaze fall to the floor. Light's mouth fell open as he swore he saw a small touch of red staining those normally pallid cheeks. _L was... blushing..._

"This conversation, Light-kun, I do not know where you are trying to take it..." L murmured, his voice sounding incredibly small as he refused to look at him.

Light stayed silent, simply staring at the nervous heap of limbs sitting across from him. Just as he was about to smile at the long awaited reaction he'd finally received, L's black eyes shifted back to him and he could almost see the wheels turning in their fathomless depths. Before he had time to react himself, L stood and walked over to him, his skeletal hands clamping tightly over his shoulders and gently pushed their lips together. Light's body went rigid at the unexpected contact, but as soon as it came, it was gone. L pulled away from him and went back to his chair. Light's breath came out raggedly as he stared at his companion in complete shock, his body seemingly frozen in place.

Without looking at him, his gaze already fixated on his computer, L said, "There. I have kissed someone now. Are you happy, Light-kun?"

The feeling of L's lips brushing against his own had sent Light crashing back to reality, had finally woken him up to the dangerous place his current subconscious instability might take him to. Abruptly, he stood, his chair spinning off a few feet behind him at the sudden movement. "I'm... going to bed now," he ground out, quickly heading for the staircase.

As he climbed the steps, he heard a quiet voice say, "It's almost strange to sleep alone, now, isn't it?" Those words nearly made him falter, and he turned his head to look at his former bedmate, but the pale man was still facing away from him, absorbed in his work. He ascended the last few steps, and then L was out of sight.

He spent the rest of the night, laying in bed, remembering the sensation of the coldest, most unfeeling kiss he'd ever experienced, remembering the sudden, sickening warmth that had immediately followed it. And in his dreams, that kiss was multiplied and built upon, until both he and his greatest enemy were completely spent.

**Pale Disorder - FIN**

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! I hope they weren't too out of character, because I do try my best to make sure that they act at least a little bit like "themselves", but it can be hard sometimes, you know... Especially with where this story is going. For L and Light to get together, it seems like at least one of them has to break character, you know what I mean?

Anyway... Review, please. I'd like to know what you think. Constructive criticism and such is always welcomed and appreciated. Please and thank you. ^_^


	4. The Speech Of A Twisted Tongue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note nor do I own the Flowing Tears' song upon which this story is semi-based and from which I took the title and all the chapter titles...

**Warning:** Eventual boy on boy action...

**A/N: **Let's just say, for fun, that there are no cameras or wiretaps in L's room. I mean, it seems kinda logical, right? Like that could make some sense. I don't know if that particular piece of information is ever explained or not in the anime/manga, but, to me, it _seems_ like it _could be_ true. Maybe. So, anyway, like I said, just for fun, and for the sake of my poorly constructed plot, let's say there aren't. It will become clear in the next chapter why there can't be wiretaps/cameras, otherwise a very important plot twist wouldn't be able to plausibly happen and this story would go nowhere. v.v Anyway.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Thy Kingdom Gone  
Chapter 4: The Speech Of A Twisted Tongue**

The silence which followed that kiss was deafening. There were words exchanged, pleasantries, and, of course, thoughts on the current state of the investigation, but it was all nothing he wanted to hear. None of it could drown out the moaning in his head. Nothing could overpower the sound of L gasping for breath, the unmistakable utterances of ecstasy that played through his memory during the day when he had other things he needed to be focusing on._ It just wasn't right._ Something should have happened. Every day that went by, every moment spent in that room doing the same things over and over seemed to him utterly... _wrong_.

Light couldn't help but be acutely aware of the fact that, since their kiss, L sat with his chair turned just slightly away from him. He couldn't help but notice the absence of those probing eyes on him, constantly studying his every move and expression. He couldn't help but notice the other's apparent newfound disinterest towards the things he said and did. And while it frustrated him, he knew - he was _quite_ sure - that the whole thing was just a pretense brought on by childish embarrassment. There was no way L could ignore him, not for long anyway. After all, he was everything L was looking for, his only key to self-validation and the fulfillment of his misplaced sense of justice. He was everything L wanted, everything he needed.

He would sit in that gray room, surrounded by the people who were fruitlessly searching for him, his eyes gazing listlessly at the screen in front of him, pretending to help them in their wayward quest. For just a moment, that kiss had thrown him off balance. He'd almost forgotten his plan to change the mind of the world's greatest detective and to use him to achieve his precious vision for the future. Because, whether L was aware of it or not, he was the only reason the strange man was still alive.

"Ne, Light, Misa-Misa is here to see you," Matsuda announced in a sing-songy tone, the sound of his voice causing his mind to return to the present.

Sighing, his eyes rolling toward the ceiling at the prospect of having to speak to Misa, the pure amount of effort it took to get her to understand anything he said, he stood and walked to the exit, passing through the security checks with only one fleeting glance in L's direction. A hunched back was all he saw.

"Liiiiiight! I missed you so much!" Misa shrieked as he approached her, flinging her arms around his neck and nuzzling her face into his shoulder. Her long, metallic earrings were poking into his neck and he just knew that some of her over-applied make-up was rubbing off onto his perfectly crisp, white shirt. Gingerly, he pried himself out of her embrace and gently pushed her back, both hands placed firmly on her shoulders to keep her at a distance.

"Misa... Have you been doing well?"

There were no wire-taps at the entrance to headquarters, but he felt no need to be overtly obvious with his words. When Misa nodded, he knew that she had understood what he'd meant.

"Yes, Light. I've been doing as you told me."

Leaning in slightly, he flashed her one of those charming, luminous smiles that had always gotten him so far during his high school days. "You're a good girl, Misa," he said slowly, letting the words roll elegantly off his tongue. And she nearly melted. He could feel the small tremor that went through her and see the slight glazing of her eyes as the combined force of his smile and his speech hit her.

"Oh, Light..." she murmured breathily, one hand moving to her face to ineffectively cover the blush that had appeared there. "What... What about you? How are... you doing?"

"Well..." He pondered the words he should say, straightening while still keeping a gentle hold on her shoulders. "To be honest... it's been difficult."

"Difficult?" Misa cocked her head to the side, her pigtails bouncing with the sudden movement.

"Yes. It's... bothersome..."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm sure you can figure it out."

Misa stared at him blankly for a moment before her eyes widened, a mischevious smile working its way onto her face. "Oh, yes, of course I understand! It must be so lame to be stuck all the time with only guys around... But, I mean, I'm sure that L would let you leave if you wanted... and then you can come visit me anytime! He was going to let you leave in the first place, right? So, it should be okay..." She trailed off, her imagination reeling with the prospect of all their future dates.

"No, Misa. That's not what I meant at all," he said carefully, fighting the sudden urge he felt to tighten his grip on her shoulders and then shake her, violently, until she gained some semblance of intelligence.

"Then... Then what is it?"

He sighed for effect, summoning up the most pitiful expression he could manage. "I want to leave. I mean, of course I do... but... I just can't. Not with the way things are. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving the Death Note with L and the rest of them. And then I also have Rem to consider."

"... Rem? What about Rem?"

"Well... I think she's made it quite obvious that she dislikes me. I'm living here... in constant fear for my life. I never know when I might say or do something that might give her reason to kill me. I've already had to deal with her threats once..."

Misa's expression turned into one of fear as she took in what he was saying. "No... No way! I won't let her do that!" she yelled passionately, her small hands clenching into fists.

"But... how could you possibly stop her, Misa?" he asked forlornly, his eyebrows scrunching together under the sorrow he felt at his impending death. "I sometimes feel... like it would be better if Rem just wasn't here at all."

"... Oh."

A breathy whisper fell from the lips of his companion. He continued to hold onto her shoulders delicately, his thumbs moving gently back and forth across the black lace that adorned them. Misa's precious eyes had gone wide and he could see in their shallow depths the inner workings of her mind as an idea formed itself. She took a deep breath and nodded, her eyelids falling closed for a moment before she began to speak.

"I understand, Light," she said quietly, the words coated with that dangerously serious tone he got to hear so rarely. And then she smiled, a small giggle escaping her painted lips. "I have to go now, I think. I've just got so many things to do!" She skipped over to the door before he could ask her for an explanation, her hand raised in farewell. "I'll call you later, Light. And, please, make sure Rem is there when I do..." The last sentence, while said through a smile, had carried a certain weight to it. With that, she left the building, the door falling closed heavily behind her.

Light watched her departure through wary eyes, curious to know what sort of scheme she had cooked up during their short conversation, yet his certainty that it couldn't be anything too important kept him from dwelling on it for very long. He made his way back into the main room of headquarters, receiving a few confused glances on account of his extremely short visit with his "girlfriend". Ignoring the pointless questions Matsuda asked about Misa-Misa and her welfare, he sat heavily in his chair, sighing at the less than desirable situation he was in.

_Things couldn't stay like this. Not for any longer. _He would never be able to achieve his destiny stuffed in a little box with over eager detectives while some dim-witted, shortsighted girl took care of, what should be, _his_ work.

His eyes drifting to the side, he regarded L with barely concealed contempt. The detective had never made any acknowledgement of his departure and subsequent return and was still clacking away at his keyboard, eyes glued to his computer, in the exact same position Light had left him in. And the next few days followed the same pattern. The case had, once again, come to a standstill, yet that didn't stop L from spending every waking hour perched in his usual chair, seemingly oblivious to what was happening around him. He was unusually quiet and would speak to the others only when absolutely necessary. The majority of his words were directed to Watari, mostly on the subject of food, and if he would be so kind as to bring him some. Light watched the situation continue with building agitation, unable to accept the detective's lack of interest, unable to accept that that kiss had been a beginning and an end all in one.

Disregarding the warnings his mind was screaming at him, he decided to stay up late one night with L, to see if being alone with him would bring about any change in his behavior. As the other members of the task force left the room, he stayed behind, pretending to be just as absorbed in his work as the other. Minutes flew by in silence, Light's mood growing increasingly foul until he stopped pretending to work altogether and leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, eyes fixed on the only other person in the room. His movements had been obvious, yet garnered no response.

"L," Light said pointedly, and rather loudly given the distance between them, looking at his companion through dangerously narrowed feline eyes.

L's hands ceased their typing at the sound of his name, his back straightening just slightly. Slowly, and almost unbearably so, the pale man turned to face him for the first time in so long. "What is it, Light-kun?" he asked, his wide eyes belying the steady monotone of his voice.

Light spoke carefully, enunciating each word clearly, making sure that the other understood that his utterance was not a request, but an order.

"We need to talk."

The walk to L's room was short. Light was almost surprised at how easy it had been to convince him to bring him there. All it had taken were a few tender pleas and a sincere expression. And now, L was ushering him into his private suite and closing the door behind them. Light went straight to the couch that was situated in the sitting room and made himself comfortable, slinging one arm over the back as L sat next to him, as far away as the piece of furniture would allow.

"Shall I have Watari bring us some tea?" L asked him quietly as he brought his knees up to his chin, one hand playing nervously with the hem of his pants.

"No." Light didn't even try to hide his smile when he noticed the small jump his quick reply had earned.

L looked at him cautiously. "Alright then. What was it you wanted to talk about, Light-kun?"

"Serious matters." He never did get tired of hearing his name pass through those thin lips, as it seemed to do so often.

"Are you going to elaborate? Or is Light-kun going to make me guess?"

Light took in a deep breath, holding it for just a moment as he rested his head on the back of the couch, allowing his body to recline in a completely relaxed fashion as he exhaled. "Am I correct in assuming that there are no wiretaps or cameras in your room, L?"

"Yes, that is correct, Light-kun."

"That's good."

L looked at him quizzically, his expression shifting ever so slightly at those words. "Should I prepare myself for something terrible then, Light-kun?"

_L. Oh, sweet, simple L._ "No," the boy chuckled phonily, brushing his hair from his eyes. "I just want to speak with you candidly... and... to be honest, it's a little unsettling to know that there's always someone watching and listening to everything you say and do."

"It shouldn't be. Unless you have something to hide."

"I'm sure that everyone, innocent or guilty, would feel at least a little bit uncomfortable being watched all the time. But this isn't what I wanted to talk about."

"What is it, then?"

_And what... what was it, exactly?_

After L spoke, it was quiet. It was so quiet, he could hear the other man breathing, the shallow intakes and the sighing exhales. It instantly reminded him of those nights when he couldn't sleep, when he was haunted by some twisted thought he couldn't place, when he was haunted by the simple fact of the detective's existence.

"Light-kun?"

Suddenly, the room seemed so small, the space between them so congested. It was the first time he and L had ever been truly alone together. Closing his eyes for a moment, he reveled in that realization and, at the same time, felt an unwelcome feeling of apprehension wash through him.

"Why have you been ignoring me?" he asked abruptly, the question bursting forth from him before he had any time to stop it. Again, that wasn't what he'd wanted to talk about.

"I haven't been doing such a thing, Light-kun."

"Yes, you have. It's been ridiculously noticeable, so don't even try to deny it."

L sighed, his bottom lip jutting out, his black eyes squinting at him from across the couch. "I'm sorry. I've been working. You should give it a try some time, Light-kun."

"Oh yeah? You've been working?"

"Yes. That is what I just said."

"So, you've been busily working all this time, yet you haven't found anything worth sharing with the rest of us at all? Am I supposed to believe that?"

"Light-kun can, and will I'm sure, believe whatever he wants."

Light breathed in slowly, taking a moment to center his thoughts and return his focus to his intended plan. He hadn't come to L's room to squabble with him. "Listen... L..." he said quietly, giving him a meaningful look, his head tilted down slightly so as to peek up at the other through his bangs. "There really is something I want to talk to you about, so..." he trailed off, a sudden clenching in his chest catching him off guard, forcing him to stop speaking.

L returned his gaze, his eyelids hanging heavily over his seemingly hollow, black orbs. "Whenever you are ready, Light-kun," he said flatly while rubbing his toes together.

_Oh, this was a joke, wasn't it? This wasn't really happening._ He closed his eyes, let that unstoppable, unrelenting force rise up within him and pushed every shred of his uneasiness down as far as he could. "I had this dream, L."

_A dream wherein I tore you apart, wherein I fucked you over and over again while you begged me for more. I had a dream that I killed you; that you were dead, silent, absolutely perfect._

"... It was in the future. Kira's future. All the criminals had been done away with, and you and I were there, together. We were living in the world that Kira had made and we were... we were happy."

L's eyes went wide as he listened to his little speech, his little lie, his mouth falling open in incredulity. Light felt an inward smirk nearly tearing his soul in two as he saw L's pale face becoming stained with a light, barely noticeable shade of red.

_You'd love it, wouldn't you? To be with me._

"We weren't the only ones who were happy. Everyone was. Everyone lived peacefully, without fear. It really was like... paradise."

L remained silent, but by the look on his face, Light could tell that he was unsettled by the things he was saying.

"What do you think about that, L?" he said, trying his best to sound genuine, trying his best not to break out in hysterical laughter at the other's obvious reactions.

L squinted at him, the expressionless mask falling firmly back into place. Leaning towards him, his unkempt black locks shifting over his eyes, the detective scrutinized him, his mouth remaining shut while his eyes roamed. Light enjoyed the attention, giving the other a small smile as he basked in the long awaited return of that penetrating, yet ultimately powerless gaze. And, then, the silence broke and a question was posed whose answer seemed so simple and innocuous, yet, at the same time, so obscure and so twisted, he could hardly put together a reply.

"Just what exactly is it, Light-kun, that you are trying to say?"

**The Speech Of A Twisted Tongue - FIN**

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it...

I need to tell you all something. I have a deep dark secret. And that is... I like Misa. Yeah, I'm a super creepy Light/L fan, but I like Misa. I really don't understand all the hate out there towards her, but whatever. I just thought I should tell you because she will be playing a bit of a role in this fic. Especially in the next chapter... and the one after that. Assuming all my "carefully laid plans" go smoothly.

Also...... It might be a while before the next chapter is posted. It's hard to deal with, I know. Anyway, I'm not gonna go and say that this story is "on hiatus", because it's not, really. I'll work on it when I can, but I have very little free time lately, so, as I said, there might be a little delay. And how sad for you, 'cause they were totally gonna make out in the next chapter. I mean... What? Huh? Did I say that? I don't know...

And... lastly... please review. They make me happy. AND WHEN I'M HAPPY IT'S SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE THIS THING, YOU GET WHAT I'M SAYIN', MMKAY??!! ^_^ (... Please and thank you...)


	5. Sanctimonium Part I

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note nor the Flowing Tears' song upon which this is semi-based and from which I stole the title and all the chapter titles.

**Warning:** Yaoi. At some point. And a little boy on boy kissy kiss in this chapter. Be aware.

**A/N: **I don't think I really have anything thing to explain directly regarding the story that you need to know before reading it... So... Um... Sorry for the longer wait. I hope you all found some way to deal with it... Ha ha... AND THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO REVIEW!!! I FOR REALS APPRECIATE IT!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Thy Kingdom Gone  
Chapter 5: Sanctimonium Part I**

"What am I trying to say?"

"Yes, Light-kun. I really would like to know."

_What was it? He had known earlier, hadn't he? He had planned everything out so carefully, what he would say, what the other's reaction would be, right? And here he was, now... trying to... make L... want him._

The realization of what he was doing was like a siren going off in his head. It was like standing on the sidewalk, watching an ambulance go by, hearing the mechanized wailing and knowing that somewhere, completely out of your control, something disastrous was happening.

Drawing in a breath, expression never faltering, he pushed down the piercing warnings of his mind and returned his focus to his original intent. "What I'm trying to say is, maybe we're going about this whole thing the wrong way."

L's eyebrows jumped upward as one finger scratched lazily at his temple. "Oh? The wrong way? Expand, if you will, Light-kun."

"I think it's become obvious that this investigation is going nowhere. Kira's got us running in circles. I think it might be a better idea for us to try to work with Kira instead of wasting all this time and energy trying to catch him." Light spoke slowly, keeping his eyes glued to the other, waiting for what he assumed would be an immediate rejection to his, as of yet, vague proposal, but L remained silent, his black eyes having drifted to the floor.

"What, you have nothing to say about that, L?"

L's feet shifted over the edge of the couch, his eyebrows furrowing as he squinted at the low table in front of them. "It's not that I don't have anything to say. I'm just trying to figure out what in the world you could be thinking by actually saying that out loud."

"I take it you don't approve."

"Of course not."

"Won't you let me try to convince you?"

"Oh, please, Light-kun. I'd love to hear it."

Even hidden under the flat monotone of the detective's voice, he could clearly hear the sarcasm, but he paid it no mind. Scooting closer to the other, yet still maintaining a friendly distance between them, he slung his arm over the back of the couch, his fingertips resting precariously close to where L's back reclined against the piece of furniture, and locked his gaze with L's.

"Countries all over the world execute their criminals."

"That is true, Light-kun."

"The deaths of these men are seen as lawful and are imposed by the will of the people. Disregarding any certain individual's personal beliefs on the matter, this practice is generally not considered... unjust."

L nodded at this though his expression clearly displayed his growing suspicion in what was being said.

"Perhaps the best way to catch Kira is to pretend, for now, to work with him, as I mentioned before. Appeal to his interests, give him something, maybe gain a little of his trust in the process. Who knows? Maybe he'd let his guard down."

"Oh? And how would we achieve this?"

"Well, it'd have to be something that both sides would be ready to accept. We'd have to reach out to both the media and the government, but, my thought is... the broadcast of criminals who have committed lesser crimes should be stopped altogether. Various countries, whoever would like to participate, would broadcast only criminals that have been convicted and sentenced to death. Let Kira take care of them. The only reason Kira is able to kill is because the names and faces of these people are plastered all over the television and internet. He'd still be able to go on with what he wants, but there would be no unnecessary deaths. It might keep him pacified and then we could work on gaining his trust and getting closer to him."

It was silent in the room as he waited for L's response. As he'd been speaking, he could almost taste the air going stale, could feel a completely non-physical type of separation occurring. His brown eyes lingering on the other's face, he watched him closely, the always subtle changes in expression now seeming incredibly overt. And when L spoke, the quiet words, despite their meaning, seemed like an invitation to him, another one of the endless acceptances of their ongoing battle.

"Before I point out the obvious flaws in that plan, I would just like to state that contradicting oneself is never a good way to get people to believe in the things you say, Light-kun."

"How am I contradicting myself?"

"You may recall, not too long ago, I wished to test one of the rules of the murder notebook. You quickly, and quite adamantly, convinced everyone that, whether inadvertently or not, allowing another human being to die is a terrible, inexcusable thing to do."

"That was a completely different situation. We have no reason to doubt those rules. You just couldn't accept that you were wrong and were willing to play with human life in a desperate attempt to prove yourself. This has to do with making a _real_ effort to catch Kira."

"I suppose that is a valid point, though I'm still quite unconvinced that I'm wrong. I'm just confused as to why, suddenly, you are comfortable with being responsible - inadvertently, to quote you directly - for causing someone's death."

"As I just said," he said through his teeth, trying his best to keep his expression neutral, "This is a completely different situation. We need to change tactics if we're ever going to catch Kira."

L sighed. "Well... I suppose now I will explain why that plan could never work, and why I would never allow it, just the same. You are suggesting some type of international broadcast with various countries offering up their criminals. Now, there are countries that show signs of supporting Kira and there are countries who openly oppose him. Just like some countries have the death penalty and others do not. Now, Kira is a touchy subject for most people, whether they are supporters or opposers. If something like this were to happen, it could cause untold damage to foreign relations in countries all across the globe. And then there is the fact that this would, quite effectively, make Kira the law. The _recognized_ law. To be honest, I'm quite shocked you actually said that out loud. It's not like you at all, Light-kun."

"How is it not like me? I want to catch Kira. This is a way, I believe, we can get closer to him."

"Yes, but... You are usually much more careful with what you say. There is no need to glare at me like that, Light-kun."

He had spent so long hiding his every emotion, and here, alone with the chief cause of his agitation, he felt no need to disguise it. "It's a brilliant plan, L. Accept it."

L smiled at him, one of those ridiculously childish smiles that he would unleash upon them all at random, that made him look like a fool. "There are two ways to interpret what you just suggested, Light-kun. The first way is that it is the overzealous scheme of someone desperate to find a way to Kira. I, however, choose to interpret it the second way."

"And that is?"

"Light-kun will only get angry if I say it."

"Since when has that ever stopped you?" he asked through a grimace, the hand that was resting near L's back twitching with a stifled desire to reach out to the other and cause him some kind of bodily harm.

"I suppose it hasn't... Well, I suppose I've been quite rude in the past, but... I'm really not sorry for it."

"I didn't expect you would be."

"You know, Light-kun," L murmured, his head tilting to the side. He paused for a moment, his fingertips drumming against his knees before he made a small clicking noise with his tongue and continued. "You know, when you asked to come up to my room, I thought... I thought you were going to confess to me."

Straightening, his eyes going wide only to narrow again, Light turned on his side to fully face the other. "_Confess_? Confess to what, exactly?"

"To being Kira. To confess that... you are Kira."

"Why in the world would you think something like that? Disregarding the fact that you're completely wrong about me, why would the person who is Kira come out and confess for no reason?"

_That was the truth. L wasn't wrong about him being Kira, but he was wrong about everything else._ _Everything else._

"You've been acting strangely lately. That's why. I'm not quite sure what you may do."

_Was it strange? He'd known, hadn't he? The moment he'd decided to save L's life, he's formulated another one of his genius plans to use him, to somehow change his mind. And that was it. The flaw. The reason he was was here with L now, stuck in this aggravating conversation, stuck in this pointless situation. There'd been no plan, no concrete idea, just a mass of vague, directionless thoughts floating through his mind due to his mysterious desperation to keep the other alive. All he'd been thinking about lately was finding a way to return the detective's undivided attention back to him, and only him. After all, he only felt right when those vacant eyes were on him, filled with his reflection._

"I... don't know what you mean."

L made a small noise of acknowledgement, his eyes drifting to the side. "Well... if that's all you wanted to talk to me about, Light-kun..."

"What?" he sneered. "Getting tired of me already?"

"No. I'm just tired in general. Concerning many things." L's gaze returned to him, his eyelids hanging heavily over his onyx orbs, the dark circles seeming all the more pronounced as he regarded him expressionlessly. Silently, the two of them stared at each other for a few moments, neither speaking nor moving as a strange feeling of understanding passed between them. Understanding of what, though, was something that could never be put into words.

"Well..." L mumbled as the silence began to slowly turn awkward. "If you insist upon staying, then I think I _will_ have Watari bring us some tea."

"Don't bother."

As L ignored his words and turned towards the laptop that had been sitting open on a small end table near the edge of the couch, a few things happened, none of which Light could find a reasonable explanation for. His left hand, which had been resting innocently near the other's back for the duration of their conversation, shot forward and quite forcibly grabbed the pale skin of the detective's neck and pulled him back, his other hand fisting in the fabric of his shirt over his shoulder, dragging his lean body close. L uttered a small noise of surprise, his body gone rigid in the other's grasp. Leaning forward, burying his face in the other's hair, Light dragged his fingernails roughly across the sensitive skin of his neck, relishing in the slight hiss his actions earned. He angled his head, his lips searching for an ear amidst the mess of dark locks until he found one, a smile breaking out across his face as he basked in the glow of his power.

"No matter what you do," he whispered, his lips moving against the shell of L's ear. "No matter how long this goes on..." He closed his eyes, preferring to simply feel - to feel the obvious heat where L's cheek rested against his jaw, to feel the rigidity of and the almost imperceptible tremors running through the body in his hold, to feel L's breath puffing unevenly onto his neck. "... You'll never be able to prove anything."

A small gasp entered his hearing as L tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn't let him, his hands clamping even harder onto his body.

"Light-kun...!"

There were bony hands pushing against his chest. There was hair tickling his neck. They were tangled up in each other. Completely tangled.

L smelled like vanilla. Inhaling, the thought struck him as strange. He shouldn't smell this good.

_He shouldn't._

"L..." his hand worked its way upward to knot in the other's hair, angling his head into the exact position he wanted it. Their eyes met for a brief moment - one pair of honey brown, dazed and resolute, and the other deep black, wide in shock and confusion, but not a hint of fear. It was a fleeting exchange, over before it could truly begin, and then their lips were pressed together.

Light opened his mouth and leaned forward, nearly forcing the other onto his back. L was fighting him, still, as always, his hands like vices around his shoulders as he tried to push him off. And that observation only urged Light onward, because he knew that the other man possessed the strength to push him away, and if that was what he really wanted, it would have already happened. So, he pressed further, his tongue snaking out to trace the contours of the other's tightly closed lips.

"Ligh-"

The end of his name was lost as he delved into L's mouth, their tongues meeting haphazardly as one pushed forward and the other pulled back. It was sweet, of course, like tea and chocolate and fruit. L's body was stiff in his arms, his passive attempts at resistance finally coming to an end as he merely laid still. Light opened his eyes, keeping their mouths locked together, his tongue still moving and exploring everything that had been denied to him, and saw L's, black and open and so close, staring at him as their kiss continued.

_You need to stop fighting me. You need to accept it. Otherwise, you're dead._

It was the message he tried to convey before closing his eyes and pouring all of his energy into asserting his dominance over his greatest enemy. It was the only truth that remained to him. It was his last clear thought before he felt L shiver beneath him and his mind turned into a hazy mess.

**Sanctimonium Part I - FIN**

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! I hope it was... okay? And I'm sorry about the delay, but I'm sure it was bearable... I've been "busy" lately and low on inspiration as well... so... when those two factors come together... my creepy yaoi fanfics don't get written. Yes, it's tragic. Anyway.

About the whole "Part I" thing... When I planned out what was going to happen in this chapter, well, there was going to be some other stuff happening that I didn't quite get to. While I was writing this, L and Light just decided to blab on and on and before I knew it, I was practically at my average chapter length without having a few things happen that I wanted to have happen in the "Sanctimonium" chapter, so, therefore, it was been extended into a two part deal. I thought about just writing a longer than normal chapter (oh my god, heresy!!), but then it would take longer to post and I've been really annoyed at how long I've just been blowing this off already. I _really_ want to write this story, but it's sometimes... difficult, shall we say.

And don't worry. I know everyone has been desperately missing Misa and her feminine wiles. Well. Fear not. She's comin' back in all her wile-y glory next chapter with her secret little plans. Look forward to it.

And, lastly, please review. They warm my heart. I know that sounds stupid, but I'm being completely serious. Constructive criticism, suggestions for betterment, etc, are all greatly appreciated. Even if you just want to point out everything that is wrong with this story, feel free to do so. If you take the time to let me know what you think, I'll be very happy. Please and thank you. ^_^


	6. Sanctimonium Part II

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Death Note nor the Flowing Tears' song upon which this is semi-based and from which I stole the title and chapter titles.

**Warning:** Boy on boy kissin' and touchin'. So on and so forth in later chapters. (I swear, this will become deserving of the M-rating I gave it, eventually... Eventually...)

**A/N: **I don't know. I just don't know. Blame it on... um... uh... me, I guess.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Thy Kingdom Gone  
Chapter 6: Sanctimonium Part II**

It was wrong. It was sickening. His mind was recoiling from it, but his body was pushing towards it, pressing against it, clinging to it. And, steadily, his mind was moving further and further away from the current situation, heading towards a dark, uninhabited corner of his consciousness and taking refuge there to wait out the building storm. And now, any form of sense and reason seemed so far, far away.

His hand had found its way under L's shirt and was moving slowly upward, taking its sweet time to savor the feeling of the pale man's milky skin underneath his fingertips. There was something slightly dumbfounding about the realization that that unblemished, alabaster flesh contained any warmth at all, let alone the nearly scalding heat that was currently searing his hand.

It was hot and smooth and pliant. It was his. He noted L's lack of resistance with glee, his lips curving into a sloppy smile while he continued to kiss him. He'd always known that the other man had wanted him. Always. Hadn't those eyes given him away long ago?

"Liiight..."

There was something winding up inside his body, some kind of coil twisting itself unbearably, painfully tight. Breaking their lips apart with an audible smack, he shifted his weight onto his knees, ripping L's shirt off as he raised himself up, throwing the useless garment onto the floor. A strange form of muted shock was reflected in the wide black eyes beneath him and he found that he loved that expression, wanted to see it intensify and expand.

And L was trying to sit up, a bony white hand pushing against his chest but he smacked it away and pushed the slender man back down.

"Light-kun! This isn't - "

Aggressively, the explosion of his pent up frustration driving his actions, he shoved three fingers into L's mouth, stifling the remainder of his words. He curled them over his tongue, moved them over his teeth and pushed them further back until he saw and felt the other man gag around his probing digits.

"What, L? I can't hear you..." He leaned in close, hovering barely an inch over the other's face. He could see it there - his eyes widening, that delicious shock expanding.

Not wanting to give it a chance to disappear, he slowly removed his fingers, letting them linger for a moment on L's thin lips, softly touching the trail of saliva that had leaked out of the corner of his mouth during his ministrations. L grunted and tried to move again, but Light shot forward, pining him down with one arm while his free hand worked on his jeans. Just as he got them unbuttoned, a pale hand clamped tightly over his throat, squeezing it agonizingly hard.

It had been a moment of madness, he would tell himself later. A moment of utter madness.

Then, just on time, the siren sounded, it's piercing noise blaring through the silence they had unknowingly created. Light recoiled from L, clutching at his throat when the other finally let go. Breathing in deeply, eyes traveling around the room blindly, he tried to place the unpleasant noise, tried not to think about why L was shirtless and sweaty and glaring, why his pants were riding dangerously low on his hips.

"Light-kun. You're supposed to keep your cell phone turned off when you're here."

He blinked, his hand moving slowly to his back pocket, where his fingers curled around the gently vibrating device.

"Oh. Sorry." He swallowed, looking at the flashing screen, trying to understand why his voice sounded so strange. "I-it's Misa. You know, she gets so mad if I don't answer..." He flipped the phone open, his mask sliding more and more into place with each intake of breath. "You understand right? I didn't think it'd be such a big deal..."

_Yeah. Keep glaring..._

"What is it, Misa?" he asked sweetly, smirking at the way L was frowning at him, his eyes peeking up at him through his messy bangs.

"Liiiiight!!!"

He grimaced, moving the phone away from his ear, her high-pitched shriek so loud that it carried through the entire room, L's eyebrows raising in suspicion when he heard it.

"What's wrong, Misa?" he asked, faking concern as only he could.

"Light, Light, I'm so sorry!" she cried, her voice weighed heavily with tears and despair.

"Misa..."

_What had she said before? Something about calling him..._ He couldn't remember. His mind had been so clouded with L, he couldn't recall any of it.

"What is it, Light-kun? Is Misa alright?" L had scooted closer on the couch, his face looking up at him clearly, devoid of any of the emotions he'd been wearing just a few moments before.

"I don't know... Misa? What is it? What are you sorry for?"

L was leaning in, teeth worrying his bottom lip. Light pushed the speaker button and held the phone between them. A loud hiccup echoed through the room.

"Misa. L is here, too. Tell us what's wrong."

"He said..." she began, a soft crackle of static adding to the eeriness of her sorrowful voice. "H-he said that he'd only g-give me five minutes... so... I don't really have much time..." The last word was punctuated with a sharp intake of breath and followed by a few shaky sighs.

"What are you talking about, Misa? Who?"

There was a short pause before she sobbed, the cry coming out sharply as though she had been holding it in. "I... I'm so sorry!" she wailed, moaning and sniffling, her voice trembling.

"Misa! What's happening?!" he yelled sternly, trying to get an answer, trying to get a handle on the situation. After all the time he'd spent with her, he'd gotten used to Misa's childish outbursts and was able to recognize when they were trivial and ignorable, but there was something different about what he was hearing now, hunched over his phone with L by his side. He was listening to the voice of someone who was suffering, someone who was in utter despair.

"I'm sorry, Light... I love you so much..."

"Misa. Please..."

She drew in a breath and held it for a moment, causing the room to fall back into silence. When she spoke again, her voice was small and quivering and afraid. "I only have five minutes to talk to you... then... after that... he's going to kill me."

It was one of those times, if asked about later, he wouldn't have been able to recall his reaction. It was as though everything was gathering together and had come into such sharp focus by the time she had agonizingly murmured the last two words, only to disperse and move away, turning the entire room into a blur. The small noise that L made seemed loud, deafening almost. The phone seemed like it was a leaden weight. And then, with the violence of a whip crack, everything shifted back into focus and he stood, desperately trying to fill his lungs with oxygen he hadn't known he'd been missing.

"What?..." he hissed into the phone, pacing back and forth in front of the couch. He was vaguely aware of L looking frantically around the room, his hands poised in front of him as though trying to catch something floating in the air.

"I'm sorry... I just wanted to tell you that I love you..."

"Misa! This makes no sense! Who is going to kill you?! And why?!" It was absurd. The entire situation was absurd. He was turning it over in his head, trying to find a rhyme or reason to it, but nothing presented itself.

"A-Amane's life is being threatened..." he heard L murmur from the couch. "You should ask her location and we'll send the police immediately... She should have done that herself, rather than calling..."

"I'm sorr - "

"Misa, where are you?!"

"I don't know, Light... I don't know..."

"Who's doing this?!" he yelled again, surprising himself by the volume of his voice and the desperation that tinged it.

And then, two things happened simultaneously. Like an angel descending from heaven - it was the first and last time he would ever think of Rem as an angel - the gray shinigami appeared through the wall, her eyes blazing red. At the exact same moment, his phone vibrated, having received a text message. Glancing at Rem for a moment, his eyes squinting in confusion, he opened the message. It contained a picture of a man's face and a name.

And then he understood. He might have kissed Misa if she were there. He might have wrapped her in his arms and held her like the precious treasure she was.

Rem was behind him, staring. It was becoming an increasingly hard task not to break out in laughter. "Misa... You need to call the police."

She sobbed and he was struck by what a talented actress she was. "It's no good, Light. He's going to kill me anyway... I just wanted... I just wanted to hear your voice before... before..."

"Shinigami..." L murmured from the couch. It was a sight to behold how the usually quick-to-act detective had become so useless, so frozen.

He wanted to ask so badly. The words were ready to pour from his mouth and he nearly had to bite his tongue to stop them.

_Rem, do you have good hearing or is this just fate? It is just another earthly consequence of God's will? Another step towards the fulfillment of prophecy?_

Within a few seconds, he could hear the scratching of pen on paper. That is, if you could call it paper and if you could call it a pen. In the ensuing 40 seconds, Misa cried and professed her undying love. He tried to reassure her, asked questions, tried to get more information out of her.

"What are you doing, Shinigami?" L whispered, his eyes wide.

After he said that, Light turned around to face Rem, acting surprised to see her Death Note open in her hands. Since L couldn't see his face, he smiled at her, narrowed his eyes and looked up at her in defiance.

"Well, Light Yagami," she croaked in her husky, ghostly voice, giving him a pointed look of her own. "The rest is up to you." A chill went through the room and she turned into dust.

L jumped, his mouth falling open as he let out a strangled gasp. On the phone, Misa shrieked.

"H-he just came back in the room... and he just... he just fell over!"

"What do you mean? Is he hurt?" Light asked, staring at the pile of dust Rem had become as though he was shocked by it.

"I-I don't know... he's not moving..."

"Then you need to get out of there!" he yelled, finally tearing his gaze away from Rem's remains to look at L with a baffled expression. "Are you restrained? Can you move?"

"Yes... I can move..."

"Then you need to go, Misa. Just run!"

"O-okay!"

He looked up at the ceiling, letting a heavy sigh fall from his lips. "I can't believe this," he muttered to himself, shaking his head. "Misa... Call me back when you know where you are. I'll come get you." He closed his phone and curled his fist around it. When he looked back down, L was standing, hovering nervously beside him.

"Will she be okay?"

"I don't know... I hope so. I think the shinigami must've killed whoever was..."

"... Whoever was trying to kill her," L muttered, finishing his sentence, though it seemed more like he was talking to himself. His gaze was fixed on the floor, centered on the pile of dust that now occupied the space where Rem used to be standing. Moving forward, his arms outstretched, he crouched down in front of it, but with a vice-like grip on his shoulder Light pulled him back.

"Don't touch it!" he yelled into the detective's face. "You don't know what that stuff is! It might be dangerous!"

"Oh, I guess you're right, Light-kun..." He took a small step back and Light released him, his gaze instantly focusing on the few small red nail marks that he had unknowingly left on his still bare shoulder. "I will... call Watari, I suppose," L murmured before turning away and scuffling towards his computer.

With his pale back finally turned, Light swiftly crouched down and plucked the barely visible corner of Rem's Death Note out from the pile of her remains. Again, he wanted to ask someone whether it was just a coincidence that her note had fallen just so, practically concealed by her dust. Was it a coincidence that he was able to stop L before he saw it? Of course, he already knew the answer to these questions, but the urge to let them past his lips, to let them ring through the air, never seemed to go away.

_It was fate. Preordained and destined._

He quickly and quietly slipped the thin book into the back of his pants and under his shirt. As L prattled on to Watari, he retrieved the other's shirt that had been laying crumpled up on the floor the entire time, seemingly forgotten by its owner. Approaching him from behind, he rested the garment over one of L's pale shoulders, tapping his skin gently with his fingers. And again, he found himself experiencing a moment of madness, a moment in which he lost himself, became a person he could not recognize - _would_ not recognize.

L turned to face him. His eyes were clear for once, free of suspicion. They were open and reflective and he could see himself in them, looking down with an equally softened expression. L's mouth opened to speak, but whatever words they might've been, he never got to hear. It was strange how he suddenly found himself bending down, one hand moving to the other's neck while the other ran along his jaw, their lips pressed together in a kiss that was so drastically different from the one they shared before. It was gentle and slow and almost sweet. When L's initial reaction to tense up gradually faded and his slender body nearly melted into his hands, Light's mind wasn't filled with thoughts of dominance and power. The feeling of the other giving into him only made him want to melt right back, to fall headfirst into the enigma he'd been chasing for so long.

For just a moment, he forgot that he was Kira.

And then Watari said something over the speaker, L shied away from him, and he remembered. He watched L's back, now covered by his shirt, which he had pulled on hastily after they'd separated. Hunched over on the edge of the couch, in the exact spot where earlier they had come _this_ close to having sex, had come so close to turning his nightmares into reality, the pale man was speaking calmly to Watari about what had just happened with Misa and Rem and what should be done now.

Light wasn't listening. He was only watching, staking a mental claim to what would soon be his. For now, L could talk in that lifeless voice like nothing had happened between them, but give it some time, and he would make him scream. He would make him scream and beg for him. In the end, he knew, L would be on his knees before him.

_It was fate._

It may have been seconds or minutes. With his eyes trained on L, the passage of time didn't hold much meaning. It was like a jolt of electricity when his phone began to vibrate in his hand. At that moment, L may not have been his, but with another Death Note in his possession, another step had been taken towards paradise. And now... all he needed to worry about now was rescuing his precious angel.

For even the God that had been worshipped by humanity for countless centuries needed a few faithful attendants by his side, ready to fight against evil, ready to enforce His law. And always, ready and willing to die in His name.

**Sanctimonium Part II - End**

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! Once again, sorry for the long wait. Inspiration has been an elusive prey lately. But... I'm feelin' good and am hoping to get this story back on track! Woo! *fist pump*

And, sorry if this story sounds really disjointed. I haven't actually read it all the way through, but I suspect it sounds that way. Actually, I haven't even read any chapter since I've written it.... Which is probably a bad thing... O.o

Anyway. Not much else to say... Review please! And thanks! ^_^


End file.
